Howard Seaborne
 

I'm happy to make up answers to
 

Frequently Asked Questions

 
 
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when is the next book coming out?

I'm glad you asked that question. The next book is (and I shouldn't be telling you this) finished. And it's brilliant! One of the greatest books ever written. It will no doubt be made into a movie, and then re-made into a better movie with a whole new interpretation by a far better director, this time in 3-D. At least that's how I feel about it. The problem is that, to protect my readers, I have to send it to an editor. The editor serves the very important function of saying, "Seriously, you've gone on for five pages about flying an instrument approach. Cut it." In addition, the editor helps protect you all from stupid things like a character answering a key question (e.g. "What just happened?!") by uttering the dumbest line in fiction: "It's complicated." As any writer knows, the editor is completely unnecessary, since the work was brilliant to begin with. And as any reader knows, you can thank your lucky stars there are editors or there would be a lot of crap out there, even from good writers. The point is, the next book is finished, but not finished until it has been edited. Then it gets finished again, and gets line edited. Then it gets finished again and gets copy edited. Then it gets finished again and -- okay, you get my point. It's coming.
 

where to you get your ideas?

I buy mine in bulk from Costco. Way cheaper than Whole Foods. But sometimes you want to go with an organic, so you have to pay a little more. I once got an idea from a food truck, but regretted it the next day. One rule I have is to stick to brand name ideas. Generics try to slip in the line "It's complicated."

EXAMPLE QUESTION?

Example answer. Sorry, this was left over from the template from which this website was built.

what author was most influential in your life?

All of them.

have you ever had that dream where you can fly?

Yes! In fact, I've had two versions of it. In one, I can flap my arms and get off the ground. The air against my hands is like water when swimming. It takes a lot of work and I don't get very high, and gravity keeps pulling me down. In the other, I can take a running jump and get airborne. Things are always going great until I start coming down again, and then I realize I'm about a quarter mile up. That does not end well.

Is the aviation element in your novels real?

Totally. I will NOT employ any of the idiotic stuff you see all too often in movies and television. Here’s an example: Every time something goes wrong on any airplane in any movie, the controls start shaking wildly and the pilot starts yelling, "I can barely hold her!" Dumbest thing ever. If the issue is an engine that just blew, that has nothing to do with the airplane controls, which will remain as smooth and effective as ever (although laden with asymmetrical force on a twin). Another example, every time an airplane is "going down" in a movie or television show, you hear a high-pitched whining sound effect. Want to know what that is? Back in the early days of Hollywood, they made movies about the heroic pilots flying wood and cloth biplanes. Those airplanes used steel wires to hold the wings together. In a dive, the wires on some models would "sing." Early Hollywood added that sound effect because that's what airplanes sounded like. Biplanes eventually went away, along with the wires. However, the sound effect didn't. They still use it today, even if the ship is a 747. Why? Because a lazy director didn't bother to get a genuine aviator on the set to explain. So, yes, when I write something about aviation, you may take it to the bank ... or airport.

you like to employ humor to make a character more real; what's the funniest joke ever told?

I am so glad I asked me that question, as is my family and everyone I have ever met and told this joke to:  Two cannibals were sitting around eating a clown, and one said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" 

Freakin' hilarious. Want to hear it again?

what's the scariest moment you've had as a pilot?

I've been flying since I was sixteen. I've had several airplane engines stop running, made an unexpected landing in a snow storm, and have performed a couple of necessary autorotations in the helicopter. I can say without a moment's hesitation that the scariest moment in my aviation career was, is, and remains driving to the airport.

Are you always such a smart-ass?

I prefer the more elegant "wise-ass."

what do you write on?

On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I take the weekends off to write.